"It just...goes away."
Feb. 14th, 2008 07:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dannysgirlsg1Yeah, I'm feeling not very cheery right now - there's just a whole combination of uncool things that seem to be hitting me at once and it's getting me down...
Paris wrote on my wall on facebook, asking if I wanted to go see American Gangster tonight at the SLC. I wrote back sure, and what time cause I wasn't sure when and how many times it was playing. Well, I'm waiting and waiting and waiting for a reply, and at 7 decided to check to see what time it actually was playing - turns out it started at 6:30, and I never got any reply back from Paris...I'm kinda hoping she ended up not going instead of just not going with me. It's very highly likely it's the former thought, but I can't help but worry it's the second one...
I'm getting that feeling that the thing that always happens when I've been hanging out with a group of people for long enough is starting to happen. For some reason, whoever they are always seems to stop wanting to do things with me. It's happened so often that I'm pretty certain it's something I unnoticably do.
And I'm wondering if it's something I did again....*sigh* Cause seriously, I haven't really seen my friends since Tuesday (which was quite briefly)...and haven't really talked with them either. I'm sure I'm just over reacting, but I can't help but feel scared I've alienated myself again.
I'm also feeling quite painfully homesick. I miss my mom, and my kitties, and my home, and Ted. I miss the atmosphere of home, and I just want nothing more than to be there right now. I miss yelling across the house and sitting on the porch and dealing with the bazillion animals drama...*sigh* The feeling only hits home more when I think about my birthday in a week - first time I'll be away from my mom on my birthday. I'm not liking that...really, I'm not. Yesh, I'm a mama's girl and I have no shame in admitting it.
There's an essay I have to write for Myth which is due tomorrow. It's only 500 words, so it really won't take me that long, but in the mood I'm in, I really don't want to do it. I've been putting it off all day...and plan on putting it off a little more. It'll get done tonight, I promise you - but probably not until later tonight.
And oh, did I mention it's Valentine's Day and my Forever!Valentine isn't here anymore? God, I miss her so much. And the longer it's been since that day, it just seems to be getting harder and harder to live with it. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? *sigh* I'm trying not to cry and let this upset me, but the sad thoughts are winning.
Even so, I'm trying to make myself think happy thoughts and remember all the greatness that was my Forever!Valentine....So I bring ya'll some picspam of her, because well, she's worth it!
(With a special guest appearence by Madre!)
(Always was the dutiful stupidvisor!)
(This is the last pic I ever took of her. This was the day she died, right before we buried her - she wasn't alive when I took this picture)
Well, slightly feeling better. Just txted everyone saying I had Valentine's stuff for them if they wanted them, and Paris txted me back. So at least I haven't been completely forgotten *shrugs*
Today hasn't all been sucky. Good things that have happened:
Finally got Billy - came Tuesday after all my impatient waiting. I haven't actually put it on the comp yet, but it's sitting on the bookshelf right next to me, just waiting for when I'm ready. I at least want to finish the Farscape novelthat isn't mine and I stole with permission before I started listening to that.
Also got Barque of Heaven on Tuesday. It was quite nice 'cause I got both of them at the exact same time. It made me very very happy.
And then right after picking up those, I got back to my room and found out Ben is gonna be at Chicago Con. More exciting news in that regard - I went ahead and bought his autograph ticket (a $70 purchase, mind you). There's only going to be a limited number, so of course I had to get it. I mean, it's BEN BROWDER - it's rare that he does cons and this is going to be his first Stargate Con - how could I pass that up.
I'm planning on getting all the photo op tickets over the summer when I'm working (whether it's at Hebert's or somewhere else is still up in the air right now - not my own choice, btw). Thankfully, none of those (at least so far) are limited, so there's no rush to get them just yet.
Madre told me just a little bit ago on the phone that she went ahead and did something for next week - that was all she said, and obviously it's gonna be for my birthday.
But yeah, Ted called me and asked what kind of camera I bought. This was how the conversation went:
Ted: ...What kind of camera did you buy?
Me: A good one.
Ted: A good one...well, what kind of good one?
Me: A better one that you bought.
See how I miss being home? These are how all our conversations go, whether it be between me and Ted, or me and my mom, or Ted and my mom, or all three of us. Completely soaked in sarcasm and witty remarks, a concept that most people around here don't seem to grasp. Maybe that's why I come off the way I do to most people - b/c I was raised to be sarcastic and a smartass and I just can't help it.
Anywho, I've got some Farscape from netflix to play around with, so I'm gonna go. There's probably some macaronies and Capri Sun (which I happily got more of Friday night at Walmart!) in my near future!
~Pip
P.S: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY FLIST!
P.S(squared): OMFG! TRAILER FOR INDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK! I have officially watched it like ten times now, and have made an icon:
Ain't it shiny?? I started screamin' in a very fangirlish fashion right when the theme started and he went for his hat. I got goosepimples watching that part and grin like a maniac every single time *sigh* I am such a archaeo-geek and I love it! I WANT MAY 22nd TO COME SOON!!!! (Maybe when we go see Jumper this weekend the theater will show the trailer! One can only hope!)
Paris wrote on my wall on facebook, asking if I wanted to go see American Gangster tonight at the SLC. I wrote back sure, and what time cause I wasn't sure when and how many times it was playing. Well, I'm waiting and waiting and waiting for a reply, and at 7 decided to check to see what time it actually was playing - turns out it started at 6:30, and I never got any reply back from Paris...I'm kinda hoping she ended up not going instead of just not going with me. It's very highly likely it's the former thought, but I can't help but worry it's the second one...
I'm getting that feeling that the thing that always happens when I've been hanging out with a group of people for long enough is starting to happen. For some reason, whoever they are always seems to stop wanting to do things with me. It's happened so often that I'm pretty certain it's something I unnoticably do.
And I'm wondering if it's something I did again....*sigh* Cause seriously, I haven't really seen my friends since Tuesday (which was quite briefly)...and haven't really talked with them either. I'm sure I'm just over reacting, but I can't help but feel scared I've alienated myself again.
I'm also feeling quite painfully homesick. I miss my mom, and my kitties, and my home, and Ted. I miss the atmosphere of home, and I just want nothing more than to be there right now. I miss yelling across the house and sitting on the porch and dealing with the bazillion animals drama...*sigh* The feeling only hits home more when I think about my birthday in a week - first time I'll be away from my mom on my birthday. I'm not liking that...really, I'm not. Yesh, I'm a mama's girl and I have no shame in admitting it.
There's an essay I have to write for Myth which is due tomorrow. It's only 500 words, so it really won't take me that long, but in the mood I'm in, I really don't want to do it. I've been putting it off all day...and plan on putting it off a little more. It'll get done tonight, I promise you - but probably not until later tonight.
And oh, did I mention it's Valentine's Day and my Forever!Valentine isn't here anymore? God, I miss her so much. And the longer it's been since that day, it just seems to be getting harder and harder to live with it. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? *sigh* I'm trying not to cry and let this upset me, but the sad thoughts are winning.
Even so, I'm trying to make myself think happy thoughts and remember all the greatness that was my Forever!Valentine....So I bring ya'll some picspam of her, because well, she's worth it!
(With a special guest appearence by Madre!)
(Always was the dutiful stupidvisor!)
(This is the last pic I ever took of her. This was the day she died, right before we buried her - she wasn't alive when I took this picture)
Well, slightly feeling better. Just txted everyone saying I had Valentine's stuff for them if they wanted them, and Paris txted me back. So at least I haven't been completely forgotten *shrugs*
Today hasn't all been sucky. Good things that have happened:
Finally got Billy - came Tuesday after all my impatient waiting. I haven't actually put it on the comp yet, but it's sitting on the bookshelf right next to me, just waiting for when I'm ready. I at least want to finish the Farscape novel
Also got Barque of Heaven on Tuesday. It was quite nice 'cause I got both of them at the exact same time. It made me very very happy.
And then right after picking up those, I got back to my room and found out Ben is gonna be at Chicago Con. More exciting news in that regard - I went ahead and bought his autograph ticket (a $70 purchase, mind you). There's only going to be a limited number, so of course I had to get it. I mean, it's BEN BROWDER - it's rare that he does cons and this is going to be his first Stargate Con - how could I pass that up.
I'm planning on getting all the photo op tickets over the summer when I'm working (whether it's at Hebert's or somewhere else is still up in the air right now - not my own choice, btw). Thankfully, none of those (at least so far) are limited, so there's no rush to get them just yet.
Madre told me just a little bit ago on the phone that she went ahead and did something for next week - that was all she said, and obviously it's gonna be for my birthday.
But yeah, Ted called me and asked what kind of camera I bought. This was how the conversation went:
Ted: ...What kind of camera did you buy?
Me: A good one.
Ted: A good one...well, what kind of good one?
Me: A better one that you bought.
See how I miss being home? These are how all our conversations go, whether it be between me and Ted, or me and my mom, or Ted and my mom, or all three of us. Completely soaked in sarcasm and witty remarks, a concept that most people around here don't seem to grasp. Maybe that's why I come off the way I do to most people - b/c I was raised to be sarcastic and a smartass and I just can't help it.
Anywho, I've got some Farscape from netflix to play around with, so I'm gonna go. There's probably some macaronies and Capri Sun (which I happily got more of Friday night at Walmart!) in my near future!
~Pip
P.S: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY FLIST!
P.S(squared): OMFG! TRAILER FOR INDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK! I have officially watched it like ten times now, and have made an icon:
Ain't it shiny?? I started screamin' in a very fangirlish fashion right when the theme started and he went for his hat. I got goosepimples watching that part and grin like a maniac every single time *sigh* I am such a archaeo-geek and I love it! I WANT MAY 22nd TO COME SOON!!!! (Maybe when we go see Jumper this weekend the theater will show the trailer! One can only hope!)
